Young Abby Has To Do Sports

As a kid, I played soccer for a bit. I also played softball for a bit, but that's for another comic. I was the worst player ever. I would stand there looking at bugs and grass and anything but the sports, which I found terribly tedious and boring. I just wanted to walk around in the woods by myself, WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

The only reason I ever went to these things was on the off chance that my dad would buy me gatorade, and the fact that someone's mom always brought awesome unhealthy snacks with lots of red food coloring and sugar, unlike the lame healthy snax my mom would give me. Health? BAH. Gimme Capri Sun and a Fruit Roll-up ANYDAY

Also, no matter how terrible my performance was, I always got a trophy. I knew full well I didn't care about sports and didn't deserve a trophy but they always gave me one. It was kind of worse than them not giving me a trophy at all, because it meant they thought I was dumb/selfish enough to not be able to recognize my own weaknesses. SILLY ADULTS